We've been excited about Lifetime's A Deadly Adoption since the trailer first dropped, so it was a huge relief when the movie premiered and was just as wonderfully crazy as we hoped it would be. Starring Kristen Wiig (as Sarah), Will Ferrell (as Robert), and Jessica Lowndes (as Bridget/Joni), the movie was straight up a typical Lifetime high-stakes drama—but the earnestness Ferrell and Wiig brought to their roles made it one of the best parodies of the genre (intentional or not) I've ever seen. So let's get right to the most bonkers moments of the night, shall we? (SPOILERS AHEAD!)
Pregnant Sarah falls in the lake and she loses the baby. The dramatic slo-mo fall was so intense.
The dialogue in this movie! There were so many lines that made absolutely no sense. One of the best? When Robert, talking about their daughter Sully, told Sarah: "No wonder she passed out like a log." And Sarah answers: "A happy log." What?
Robert's worrywart ways. He frets over Sully getting a bike and seriously mentions her diabetes dozens of times. Foreshadowing much?
Speaking of foreshadowing...minute one into Bridget's visit, she breaks a photo of Robert and Sarah.
And almost instantly, we know Bridget is crazy: On her first day staying at their house, she sees a magazine cover of Robert and Sarah and rips Sarah's photo off.
I think Robert is off his rocker too! He tells Bridget that he blames Sarah for the accident at the lake. "Sometimes I think I may never love her the way I used to." Dude, that is harsh.
FAKE BABY! IT'S A FAKE BABY! First of all, Robert and Sarah need to talk to Sully about boundaries because it is not OK to walk in on somebody showering. That said, she did learn that Bridget is not really pregnant. I called that the minute Bridget said she only wanted coffee for breakfast—something was up.
Robert's past finally comes out. We find out that the night he blacked out on his book tour, he hooked up with Joni a.k.a. Bridget's real name.
Another amazing piece of dialogue we need to address: "When we lost the baby, I went crazy. I said yes to every book tour." Crazyyyyyy.
Aw, bye Charlie. :(
Oh, shit. Joni reveals that she got pregnant after her hookup with Robert. She lost the child after 3 months, which is why she's out for revenge.
Which fight scene is better? The one between Bridget and Sarah, when Bridget leaves Sarah unconscious in the garage with the car on, or the fight between Robert and Bridget, when she accidentally shoots him.
So much happens in the final show down: Robert stands on the bridge, causing Bridget to crash the car. Sully runs to her dad, but Bridget demands he returns the little girl to her because she's "her mom now." Sully jumps off the bridge to get away, followed quickly by Robert. Bridget is about to shoot at them when we hear a gun go off—Sarah shot her!
That final scene, though. The happy song at the end was one step away from being Natalie Cole's "This Will Be." They all dance around the kitchen, Sully's bike doesn't have training wheels, all is well.
"Inspired by a true story." Best. Ending. Ever.
What were your favorite moments?
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