Sunday, 14 June 2015

Game of Thrones Finale Recap: We Know Nothing

Game of Thrones Finale Recap: We Know Nothing

Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. NOPE.

Everyone who watches Game of Thrones probably had the same reaction tonight: "WHY? Why do I do this to myself?" We were expecting an intense finale, but only book readers knew what was truly in store for Jon Snow (and you guys kept that secret tight like a tiger. Well done.) That's right: The Stark family endured its latest death: the curly-haired, beautiful brooding, merciful Jon Snow. He fought Wildlings, White Walkers, and frizz, but was ultimately betrayed by his own men at Castle Black. That's a Game of Thrones twist if there ever was one. Here's hoping someone other than Sam knows that Valyrian steel kills White Walkers. And if not, whatever. You guys killed Jon Snow.[1]


Here lies Jon Snow's last smile, upon hearing that Sam and Gilly finally did the deed.

The crazy part is, that was only one small part of a jam-packed insane finale. Here's what else went down--and who else (probably) bit the dust.

Missandei screws up--and costs literally everyone remaining in Stannis' army their lives. Not only do half his men desert him, but we also learn that his wife, Selyse, has killed herself (you know, after that whole allowing her husband and his evil mistress to burn their daughter alive thing). Stannis mourns for about 0.2 seconds before marching on Winterfell...only to be confronted by the Boltons' army before they can even make it there. But who shows up to seal Stannis' fate? None other than Brienne of Tarth, who's ready and waiting to avenge Renly's death (from back in season two!). But did she actually kill him? The shot is presumably from Stannis' perspective, and she drills the sword--but we don't actually see him dead. Just throwing it out there.

Arya kills Meryn Trant, the first name on her list. Jaqen isn't thrilled by this though, and he poisons himself, because "death pays for life." Except it wasn't really him! Foiled again! The last face Arya gets to is her own, and we leave her as she's going blind(?!) and yelling "What's happening to me?!" Uh, let us know when you find out, A.

Sansa finally gets a candle in that effing tower. And she's confronted by Myranda, who is about to blow off a limb before Theon grows a pair (sorry, horrible metaphor for him, I KNOW) and throws her off the balcony. But now he and Sansa are both in serious trouble, as Ramsay's on his way back to Winterfell.

Sam, Gilly, and baby Sam are off to the Citadel so that Sam can become a maester. Jon, who turns into Mr. Optimist all the sudden, says to him "I'm glad the end of the world's working out well for someone." Basically, yeah.

Cersei partially confesses to her sins, and is sent on the longest, saddest walk we've ever seen. In some ways it's a shame that Jon Snow's death was in the same episode, because it overshadows this truly heartbreaking, exploitative scene. No matter your feelings about Cersei, seeing her walk back to the Red Keep naked, bleeding, and covered in all sorts of bodily fluids was one of the most painful shots of the whole series. And Lena Headey deserves ALL the Emmys for conveying so much pain without any words at all.

Daario and Ser Jorah leave Meereen to find Daenerys. And boy, does she need them. Drogon is being really difficult right now, and Dany needs some food. But as soon as we see her alone in that field, we know what's about to happen. Moments later, she's surrounded by thousands of men. But just who are they?

Varys makes it to Meereen, and he and Tyrion have a very anticlimactic reunion. But they already have all sorts of spying missions up their sleeves, it seems.

Photos: Courtesy of HBO


  1. ^ Game of Thrones (

Source :
If you want to unsubscribe Click Here

No comments:

Post a Comment