Tinder is a popular app with many subscribers, even old people over the ripe age of 30 who are willing to pay more for the service[1]. It's also a bit like the wild wild west in that there are no rules, not everyone is looking for the same thing, and you could end up in just about any situation—from a one-night stand to meeting your future husband.
Its reputation as a hookup app came from the no-barriers approach, modeled after Grindr, which made the best of two people who found each other attractive in close proximity to one another. Easy hookups, no strings. Even the names sound similar. But years later now, it's become more of a regular dating app where people who simply don't want to create a whole profile or sign up for a site can still look for love in a low-maintenance way.
But, trust, there are many men and women who have still not evolved past the early idea of Tinder as a hookup app alone. You'll usually know it when you see their pictures—topless in a mirror, duck faces, body part shots, in-bed photos. These people are probably not on the app looking for a long-term relationship. Then again, who are we to assume?
If Tinder has taught us anything, it is that we know nothing. Nothing about what our matches—the people behind their pictures—really want out of the deal. So if you're of the "looking for a relationship" variety, here are the two most important pieces of Tinder advice you'll need:
1. The Due Diligence Phase
You can and should do your due diligence before meeting your Tinder matches, in the 'messaging' phase of Tinder courtship. Through back and forth banter and light conversation, you can find out if you relate to this person, if he or she is funny, smart, or loves baseball, for example. You know, the important things. Be yourself, make jokes, ask questions, and spend a little time talking (if he's ready to meet that night without so much as a "Hello," you'll know you're not on the same page). All of that is great, but no matter how many texts you exchange with someone, or how much you mutually love Curb Your Enthusiasm, you cannot know if you really like him or her until you meet. And that's where my real gem of Tinder advice comes in: the coffee date.
2. The Coffee Date
Many of the people you've established a rapport with may end up becoming friends if there's no romantic spark. That's not a bad outcome. But regardless of whether you become friends, lovers, or never speak again, there must be a coffee. A meeting in the daylight, or one with light vibes without the pressure of a real date is essential to Tinder. It gives you a chance to chitchat, feel things out and learn more about what he's looking for. Forget setting aside an entire night to a date on spec, or committing to dinner or drinks after work which could end up as an hours-long ordeal. Coffee is quick and easy, low-pressure, and will let you get in and out and get to know eachother just as well.
I've been matched with guys who I was sure I would fall in love with the second we saw each other, only to meet them and be legit confused for 10 minutes if this was even the same person because reality did not match his drastically altered photos.
I once met a man for coffee who was looking for beards to bring to family functions and whatnot. He was awesome. Obviously we didn't have the kind of chemistry I was looking for, but the point is that everyone uses Tinder—and a lot of online dating apps and sites—differently. Sid I want to be stuck at a three-course dinner with him, or waste a good blowout and outfit? No. I simply finished my latte and was on my way.
Now, there's one more thing we should mention here: Tinder is confusing and it messes with your mind. It can become like a game, and just as addictive as Candy Crush, and make you forget your goal of actually meeting and connecting to a person in real life. To combat becoming a slave to it, you should take breaks from it, and when you're on it, limit your use to once a day—for real. If you like the people who message you, move things over to text messaging. Constantly swiping through potential dates on Tinder keeps us in the cycle of constantly looking for someone better, and probably never finding him. And if and when you do find someone who wants to plan a date, just remember: coffee.
If you've ever dated online, you'll love this It's Not OK, Cupid video:
Photos: Stocksy
References
- ^ people over the ripe age of 30 who are willing to pay more for the service (www.glamour.com)
Source : http://feeds.glamour.com/c/35377/f/665037/s/472ee6e2/sc/14/l/0L0Sglamour0N0Csex0Elove0Elife0Cblogs0Csmitten0C20A150C0A60Ctinder0Edate0Edating0Ecoffee0Edrinks/story01.htm
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